Monday, May 30, 2011

Diary of a Widow

As I mediate on the past event of what occurred in my life, I wonder if there was not a God could I have survived this devastation. So many times I wanted to give up and just say enough is enough I don’t need all this stress and pain in my life. But because of love, giving up always seems too vanished in thin air.

What I am trying to say is, because I know that God love me, and He won’t leave me to handle this all alone, I gain strength to hold on, and then I loved my family too much not to be there for them. But it was not easy.

For years my schedule was like this. I would come home from a grave yard shift working at the Miccosukee Indian Casino and then attend to my wife. Take my boys to school. Go out back to my second job, come back home in the evening and attend to me wife, while preparing meals for the boys, then try to get a little rest before going back to my night job. Next day doing it all over again.

Keep in mind between all this, there was many hospitals and doctor visits, and then also attending to the boys with school stuffs etc. And if you are a parent you know that many miscellaneous stuff always comes up on a daily basses.

O yes, there was times when I come home from my night job so exhausted, that the only thing I remember was starting to take care of my wife, next thing I know it was time to go to work. What happened during the day, I don’t know.

When I met my wife, I was just coming out of boot camp from the United States Army training at Fort Sill in Oklahoma, and she was in High School. I never thought she was going to be diagnosed with TPP, and be permanently disabled, and then I was going to have to take care of her.

On December 15, 2005, I was just about to walk out from the building on my night job when I got a call from the Miami Dade Police informing me that my wife was past away in her sleep over night. If I tell you I remember clearly driving home that morning, I would be lying. However, a new chapter in my life has begun at the moment.

Did I want to give up? You bet I did. I remember those days that I had to come form my night job and go starch to the hospital to be with my wife because she had one of her many surgeries. Or the times when she would call me at work just to get some comfort from the reaction of medicine, and I have to talk and comfort her while working, giving up was a thought.

Did I shed tears? More that you could imagine. I know some might say it’s not manly for a man to cry, but I say to them, pain has not preference. From the physical pain on my body to the mental pain of seeing my family going through this ordeal, I had to shed tears.

Did I say why me? It was a popular word to use at that time. For a while I could not understand why it had to be me going through this task of lifting my wife from the bed to her wheel chair etc O yes I say why me many times.

Did I think about suicide? If you only knew how many times: the only thing that saves me was I know that God would not have honor suicide, and if I did my family would be worst off, so I believe that save me from it.

But the strength from God and the love for my family enable me to go on even after the death of my wife, but taking care of three young boys as a single parent was certainly not in the plan for my life.

I commend all the single parents who never give up on the fight to survive, because I experience the double dose of both parenthood in one body, and I can tell you it is not an easy task. This was/is an experience.

When my wife died it hit me pretty hard. From fainting at the grave yard to being rushed to the hospital from work because of stress and depress, I experienced it all. The grieving process was one I would like to forget forever. I remember the times I would drive to nowhere and just stop, or going to the rest room on my job and sit on the stole for no reason, it was a trying time. But I had to come to my senses and face reality because my boys needed me. This is when I realize that life is what you make it.

The process which enables me to move forward was not an easy one, but I thank God for His mercy and grace, because I know I would not be alive to write this testimonial letter. So I give all the credit to God because I can now say I am a much better person than I was years ago. I can truly say God answered my prayer, but I had to do some work to get this accomplished.

Overcoming and moving forward took dedicated time and work. I had to come face to face with my adversity, by accepting my present situation before I was able to move forward. This is one of the many scriptures I use to help me. “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:8-KJV)
I hope you understand that I am not saying I accept the fact that my wife was dead, what I’m saying is, I had to realize that she is not coming back and look towards taking care of my boys.

It was time for me to take responsibility and do what is necessary to survive for my family sake. So I had to release the frustration and anger of losing my wife. I always turn to the scriptures for help.
So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (Hebrews 4: 14-16 –NLT)

I made up my mind, with the Lord on my side; I was going to get past this hurdle in my life. I then started to think carefully about the decision I was making and the friends I was hanging around with, because this would make a critical point in my succeeding. Then I begin to believe in myself and act on it, with prayer and action, I was able to overcome and move forward.


Sunday, May 29, 2011


Start by believing in your heart that your ministry equips people to live a Christ-quality life. When you love ministry and demonstrate that love, your expressions of ministry impact people more than you can imagine. You will help people grow. At times you will swing from tender leader to fiery prophet to pleading priest. You will enrich your life too. You will stand taller and noble. You will be more spiritual and less scalar. You will have a cause to live for, to fight for and to die for. You will feel a sense of purpose, of making a different and of recovered self-worth. Wrap your arms around your ministry, and it will love you back in ways beyond loftiest dreams.

The leader who relives their call and choose to fall in love with their call all over again will declare their eagerness to go beyond their own inadequacies Christ likeness.

 My failure to be even to my own accepted standards.
 My self-deception in face of temptation.
 My choosing of the worst when I know the better.
 My failure to apply to myself the standards of conduct I demand of others.
 My blindness toward wrongs that do not touch my own case and my over sensitiveness to those that do.
 My slowness to see the good in my follows and to see the evil in myself.
 My hardness of heart toward my neighbors fault and my readiness to make allowance to my own: and
 My unwillingness to believe God has called me to a small work and my brother to a great one.

In the rough-and- tumble of ministry, every day brings some confusing events, disturbing ambiguities, wild fantasies or strange affiliations that team up to cause a servant-leader to question his adequacy, his commitment of his effectiveness. Although each new struggle may be slightly different, it is a struggle nonetheless, it is precisely in the midst of these questions and change points-whether they are personal, family or professional-that our Lord comes and reminds us. “I have special need of you for a unique task even when you are at a high noon in these struggles”

To fall in love with your ministry/calling,

• Act as though you love ministry.
• Personalize your ministry renewal.
• Contemporize your message
• Grow beyond your ministry” honeymoon”
• Nurture your call.
• Allow God to make ministry specific.
• Ask God for visionary greatness.
• Welcome the disciplining and stretching of God.

Speaker/author Carl Mathis, author of title “Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward, which comes with a free audio download. Allow Carl to motivate/inspire you by going to

Thursday, May 26, 2011



What is an armor bearer? In Scripture, an armor-bearer (also spelled armorbearer and armor bearer) was a servant who carried additional weapons for commanders, in others words , a protector. In the church, an armor bearer duties range widely, but generally speaking, a church armor-bearer carries the “armor” of a church leader, such as the leader’s Bible “the sword of the Spirit” A church armor-bearer essentially serves as a church leader’s bodyguard.

Armor Bearers are not elected but are appointed by the Pastor from congregants who are in good standing, who are tithers, and who love the church and the Shepherd.
The main function of one who is designated as an armor bearer is that of service, for the biblical armor bearer was much more than a hired hand. An armor bearer was a person who undoubtedly spent many years, if not one’s entire life, in the leader’s service. If you area in such position, here are some of your duties.

You must make the advancement of the leader the most important goal.

You must possess endless strength so as to thrust, press and force their way onward without giving way under harsh treatment.

You must follow directives immediately and correctly.

You must provide strength for the leader.

You must have a deep-down sense of respect for the leader, and acceptance for and tolerance of, the leader’s personality and their way of doing things.

You must instinctively understand the leader’s thoughts.

You must walk in agreement with and submission to the leader.

You must be a support to the leader.

You must be an effective communicator.

You must have a disposition that will eagerly gain victories for the leader.

You must have the ability to minister strength and courage to the leader.

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)

If you in such position of an armor bearer, here is one example of how you should pray for the one you are protecting.

Monday - Pray for your leader as a pastor - bringing the love of Jesus to those around them, shepherding their church members.

Tuesday - Pray for their preaching ministry, that they would hear, and believe God’s word, and proclaim it faithfully - being effective in their communication.

Wednesday - Pray for their leadership role - seeking future vision, and leading the church into that vision, encouraging and enabling church members in ministry.

Thursday - Pray for your pastors’ own walk of faith - for their prayer life, for their faith, that they would grow spiritually and in their love for God

Friday - Pray for their personal time - for relaxation and renewal, to avoid the pressures and stress of ministry.

Saturday - If your pastor is married, pray for them as husband/ wife, and if appropriate, as father / mother. Otherwise pray for their relationships with those who are close to them.

Sunday - Pray for them as they lead worship and in their roles as church leader - particularly their relationships with church members, and any relationships that are difficult at this time.

Carl Mathis: author of Life is what you make it - Seven steps to moving forward
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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Leadership: Qualification to Lead.

True leadership is “Leading by Personal Example”

When it comes to leadership, one might think that it calls for a person with skills. Skills in planning, organizing, staffing, coordinating and reporting – function that describe the role of leadership assistance. Although these are important skills, leadership is calling for people with integrity, practical wisdom and “filled with the Holy Spirit”

Integrity: The first qualification for leadership. In the volatile climate of conflict and under the scrutiny of murmuring factions, administrative matters often turn into personal test of credibility and character. In these circumstances, leaders are visible and vulnerable.

Visible leadership is the leading edge of a true leader’s public witness, sometimes the court of last resort.

Practical Wisdom: The second qualification for leadership. Conflict create by self-interested factions are resolved until someone sees the “big picture” and evasions what psychologists call a “subordinate goal, to lift the sights of the battling factions.

In fact, nothing happens in a meeting” until the leader” interprets the sense of the meeting” Even at risk of wrath, the point is well taken. Practical wisdom is the combination of intuition, experience and homework that sees beyond the factions of self-interest to a larger purpose.

Leaders who try to lead by relying only upon their own personal integrity and practical wisdom operate in a small shaky circle.

Holy Spirit: When the early church begins its executive search, only those who were filled with the Holy Spirit were eligible for election. Personal integrity is no longer a matter of rigid self-discipline or clever public cover- ups.

Consider Paul’s dossier in the Philippians letter, he listed his impeccable credentials that qualify him as a leader of leaders among the Jews only to disclaim them all in favor of this testimony: “not having my own righteousness which is from the law, but that which is though faith of Christ righteousness which is from God by faith” Philippians:3:3

Under the power of the Holy Spirit, practical wisdom also takes a transformed meaning. Not only does faith fill in the mysteries of the patters that are beyond comprehensions, but as James writes: “The wisdom that is from above is first pure, the peaceable, gentle willing to yield entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy” James 3:17

The qualification for leadership is now complete. Through the infilling of the Holy Spirit, you are call to lead with personal integrity and a practical wisdom that is not your own. The Holy Spirit is not a signpost that points” Go this way” he is the Shepherd who says “Follow Me” To lead is by personal example.

Carl Mathis: author of “Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward.” Allow Carl Mathis to motivate/inspire you with his Christian words of encouragement. Go here now

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


Good quality and pleasing to look at can be described as excellent. Only the excellent things will deem priceless and worth while to be called a classic.
Without pursuing excellence, life will remain bland and lukewarm at best. The quest for excellence fuels your fire and keeps you from just drifting downstream gathering debris.

“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other. So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth”. (Revelation 3: 16-16 NIV)

To achieve excellent, one must not be undecided in what his/she is pursuing. A firm and steady action will be the evident when it comes to achieving. You must be excellent in all that you do, from your physical to spiritual, and the natural must be in excellent shape. For example, as you prepared to go to work, be the best that can be. As you engage in conversation with your cow workers or any one else, let you conversation be morally in good standing. In fact, have an excellent attitude.

“And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment. That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ”. (Philippians 1:9-10 NIV)

Could you be excellent in all that you do ? of course you could. However, the pursuit of excellence will mean hard work and diligence which may take on various forms, research, study, time, sweat, planning, brainstorming for ideas, etc. It may well mean swimming against the stream and sometimes navigating the rocky and swift rapids of life. It will often be exhausting and bring you up against that which is really beyond you. Thus, in keeping with your own shortcomings and weaknesses, the pursuit of excellence in the execution of your daily routine or special projects is something that must be pursued by God’s strength. Such a mentality can be seen in the attitude and actions of the apostle Paul. As one totally committed to God’s purpose for his life, Paul gave his all to be all God wanted him to be in seeking to bring men to maturity in Christ, but he did so by God’s enablement rather than by his own strength. Excellent occur when two things merge together and become one, all your strength and God’s enablement.

Strive to be excellent and don’t give up. Here is how you become excellent. From the standpoint of that which affects the way you work, there is probably nothing more important than your attitude. Your choice of attitude impacts every decision you make on a day-to-day, moment-by-moment basis. Your attitude can either fire your hopes and the pursuit of the things that are important or it can extinguish your hopes and pursuits. The value of your attitude on what you pursue, your values, priorities, objectives, and how you pursue them will be very evident in the end result. In all that you are doing, strive to do your best and you will achieve success.

God bless you.

Carl Mathis: author of Life is what you make it - seven steps to moving foreword
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Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Building life is just like structuring a building. You want to build it so it could withstand from generation to generation. When you are dead on gone, your building (life) should still be function and operating as normal. This is why the scripture says that you should never consume all inheritance; leave some for you children’s children, meaning your grand children.

Proverbs 17:6, Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children. (NLT)

The grand children are the one who should gain the most of what you do in life. If you look at life in a long term sense, you could never go wrong.

Here is an explanation: Your grand children are you children’s children. You are the grandchild of your mother’s parent. Your mother is the grand child of her parent’s parent. In others, every person mention in this statement is a grand child, and will receive the crowning glory. The object is to think towards the future and build on it. Here is an example: According to Hebrews 11:1, Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (NLT)

When you building any project, weather family life or otherwise, you must build with the mindset of what’s going to happen. You must see the future result in your mind while you continued building. In other words, you present occurrence is not the focus of your intention. What ever happened while you building in not a problem, because you goal is towards the finish project. So what you do is take that hope, which is call faith, and use it to give that assurance that your project is already finish. What you doing is just going through the procedure. In the end, you will have what it takes to allow you to leave something towards you grand children.

Proverbs 13:22, A good man leaves an inheritance (of moral stability and goodness) to his children's children, and the wealth of the sinner (finds its way eventually) into the hands of the righteous, for whom it was laid up (APB)

The object is to build to last, in other words, build constructively. Develop and maintain an attitude to build a better life for you and your family. So in the future, you wouldn’t be questioning if life is really what you make it to be. This may sound repeatedly to you, but here it is again, life is really what you make it to be.

Here are some things that you should remember in life. A good job does not guaranty you happiness, you could have all your bills paid on time, your closet is full with the latest style of clothes and multitude of shoes, and still be the unhappiest person in the world. If you don’t have life principles routed and grounded in your life, you would always be questioning if life is really what you make it to be.
Education is very important and should be place at the top of your list of priorities. Knowledge in power, according to the Bible, lack of knowledge will result in being perished. A good and secured job is also a blessing to have, but the principles of life will help you maintain a life standard that no job or education could give you.

Just a though: If you fall short of what you indented to do, and you have to start all over again, could you make a comeback? Okay: If your feeling was heart so bad that it make you weep, would you isolate yourself to a place that no one should talk to you. If one of your coworker or employee say something to you that makes you feel shame and degraded, what would be your respond?

Just as a building could never maintain its solidness for any length of time without the foundation being rock solid, your life will never stand when pressure arrives if you don’t have foundational principles.

Moral stability and goodness should be a standard lifestyle for your everyday living. Having a mental or psychological firmness will give you the ability to withstand any difficulties you encounter in your life. The strategy begins with God’s wisdom. You must respect and appreciate who God is. Reverence and awe in recognizing the almighty God. This is the solidest base you could ever have when building you life for you and your family. Then you require moral application, which is trusting in God and his word, allowing his word to speak to you personally, and most of all, willing to obey. What you doing are setting the stage for success without failure.

Another thing that you require in you foundational life building is practical application, which means acting on God’s direction in daily devotions. Whatever you put into you heart, will be that thing which comes out from your mouth. According to Proverbs 4:23, “you should keep your hart with all diligence, because whatever comes out from it is the issues of life”. (KJV) This is why you must devote a daily practice of feeding yourself with God’s word.

If you use a quality of integrity in you foundational building, I guaranty you will stand to see the result, and you will experience what God’s does with your obedience. When you put these principles into you life the Bible says, according to Luke.

Luke 6:47-48 I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, which dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. (NIV)

Have you ever been through a storm or a hurricane? Some places have tornadoes and even earth wakes. All these things have the potential of wrecking disaster in a person’s life. As great the damage these storms could cause in you life, dishonesty and lies is as equal when it comes to causing pain to another person.

However, pain is a temporal thing if foundational principles are applied. For example, situation and circumstance is a part of our everyday life. According to the Bible, “tomorrow is not promise to anyone. No one knows what will happen on the next day”. We may speculate and make our own suggestions, bur the real truth is only God’s knows everything. All we could do is live our lives the best way we know how, and that is with good and Godly principles. Principles are the real foundation for building a solid and prosper life.

Carl Mathis author of "Life is what you make it - seven steps to moving forward
Got to for more from Carl or to purchase his book Life is what you make it.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Gateway

In the book of John, the author writes in conjunction with what Jesus said. He said,

Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved. They will come and go freely and will find good pastures. The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My [God’s] purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:9–10 (NLT)

It’s so unfortunate that we cannot get away from life’s occurrences. Sometimes, we try our best to avoid and hide from encountering situations, but the true fact is that we always bump right into them.

This is because there is an adversary who intended to kill, steal and destroy your dreams and desires. This is where a great majority of situations and circumstances come to hinder your goals in life.

Avoiding them can be a difficult task, but if you happened to be involved in any situation, here is where the purpose of Jesus comes into the picture. He said that He is the gateway to resolving any situation, and if you make the decision of going through His gate, you will know how to handle whatever the enemy throws into your direction. In others words, Jesus’ purpose is to provide you with a rich and satisfying life.

When you think about a gateway, it is separated by something that is there to keep unwanted people and trespassers from entering. A solid, still gate, but once you enter it, you are also protected from the unwanted people and trespassers.

Carl Mathis .Author of “Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward”
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Friday, May 6, 2011

Motherhood: The Greatest Job in the World

There is no other love quite like a mother’s. In any person’s life, there will be no one who is as unconditionally caring, loving, forgiving, and patient as one’s mother. Being a mother is one of the great missions in life, and anyone who takes on the role is really to be commended. There is no salary for being a mother; the payment for this job is the unconditional love of your child.
Being a mother means putting your children or family first before anything else. The love and care is so great and endless that she will even give her own food to her child who is hungry. A mother can sacrifice what would have been for her just to be able to give her child what he or she wants and needs.
When it comes to being a mother and making the right decisions, there are certain things that must be remembered. A good mother can always carry out these things to the best of her ability.
1. Never makes decisions under pressure.
A good mother avoids making rash decisions. She is always cool and calm when she decides on something. Mothers will always go for the most logical, reasonable, and practical path. If you are a mother and feel that you have a heavy decision to make, take a breath, and relax for a moment – the wisdom will come soon enough.
2. Never make a decision when you are in pain.
Emotions always get in the way of making wise decisions. If you have just been in a feud with a friend or family member, it’s best not to make decisions first, as they may be brought about by frustration or anger. Decisions made in the heat of the moment might end up causing more damage.
3. Never do things for revenge.
Mothers don’t seek revenge over anyone who has wronged them. Instead, they are always looking for peaceful, neutral ways of settling disputes. Getting even is not a solution.
4. Think of the future when making a decision.
You want to have the future in mind when you make a decision. You want to be sure that whatever you decide will benefit your family in the months and years to come. It’s not just about what is going on today but more of what you will face tomorrow.
5. Always strive to be better.
Think of what kind of person you are trying to become. Strive to work towards being that person. Don’t focus on the negative of the present because you can always make it better for the future.
With these things in mind, you are sure to be well equipped in making good decisions for your family. As a mother, always remember that:
• It is the greatest job in the world, and the pay-off is the love of your family.
• It’s about carrying your family through anything.
• Sacrifice is part of motherhood.

For more insight and understanding consider going to A motivational speaker and author, Carl Mathis will empower you to overcome any obstacles in your life. His other works include the motivational book Life is What You Make It: Seven Steps for Moving Forward.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


This question is often asked, is there really a God, or is there some kind of force that controls our every thought? How about the people who claim they are preaching the word of God. Are they full of baloney? How about this thing call prayer, does it really work?

You get on your knees and bow your head, or some other posture position, and then you begin to speak to the air, claiming there is someone listening to you. Then you wait for a response to whatever you are praying for. It may sound like something no normal person would do. However, do not try to analyze or figure out how prayer works; all you need to know is it works every time, if you do it the right way.

Just think for a moment.

What happens if there really is a God? That would mean that there really is a thing called prayer. That is something to think about, isn’t it? If you are sure there is a God, then be sure that there is prayer, God and prayer are inseparable, and they cannot be separated, just as humans and prayer are link together in a unique way. We just don’t recognize the connection between the two. If we were made in the image of God, don’t you think He could tap into our intellect whenever He wants?

The name God and Jesus Christ are mentioned, most times without the awareness that the person is actually praying. When they call these names, they are actually calling on God because of a need in their lives. Imagine how many times you have hurt a part of your body; and the first word that comes out of your mouth is oh my God. And then when the pain starts to kick in a little more, you utter Jesus Christ. This is not a coincidence or just pure luck that somebody would call on the name of God when they are in pain. Pain is a sign of need, and when there is a need in the body, the body reaches out in the natural way that it was designed to reach, to its familiar source. God creates the human body. When someone calls on the name of the Lord, whether because of just the pain from a physical heart, or something else, it’s a form of prayer, which says I need help.

All prayers are not intensive prayers, it depends on how well you know God, or whether your prayer is going to be answered?

For example, when a baby needs its bottle or its food, he or she calls on the mother first. The reason this occurs is that a baby lives in the mother’s womb for approximately nine months; during that time, the mother and the baby are attached to each other, so in the time of need, the first reaction is to call on somebody that the baby knows, which is the mother. The baby reaches out for its formulary source. A baby can tell who their mother is by just putting that baby next to the mother’s heart.

They way God created humans, all are attached to Him. This is why almost everybody one time or another, say the words God or Jesus Christ without being taught to do so. These words of prayer were part of the human mind from the beginning of creation; they were placed in the brain cells and cannot be removed. It is up to you to use them to your advantage.

Carl Mathis, author of Life is what you make it - seven steps to moving forward
For more go to